No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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