Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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