hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
