Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
