i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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