on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
