Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
