We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
