i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
