what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
