Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
