I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
