just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
