i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
