Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
