I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
party gras won. party gras always wins.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
