Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
