He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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