Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
