brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
