Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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