I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
