I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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