I'm eating all of the evidence.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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