u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
50% drunk capacity currently
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize