Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
