yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
