well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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