Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
