You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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