Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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