Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
