I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
