Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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