so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
