i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My vagina is very pro this idea
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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