Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
