Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
