My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
