it hurts more in the daytime
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
