Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
