Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
