hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
