the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
