i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
