it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
