Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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