thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
