Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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