Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
