wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
