sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
