i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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