I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
