I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
