you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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