I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
