yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize